We have one friend who we feel would be very upset to find out about Cruise and feel personally excluded. To be honest, she was like that.
We’ve been careful not to talk about travel in general so as not to encourage others to want to go along, but we didn’t mention travel specifically to this person. Because she tends to be very passive and those of us who travel can only really take her with us in small amounts.
Sadly, no one wants to spend what should have been a fun vacation being let down by their girlfriend. She is not aware of this behavior herself, but everyone else does.
I’m not sure whether to tell her about this trip ahead of time or let her find out for herself, perhaps through social media. And I don’t know what to do if I leak the information. I know she’ll be upset either way. Do you have any advice?
Cruiser: Unless there’s the pesky question of truth, I think it’s better to say nothing to you. It’s perfectly fine for one part of a group of friends to decide to do something that doesn’t necessarily involve the rest of the group. There may be hurt feelings, but it is not a betrayal per se.
But you are intentionally excluding this one friend. If she finds out about the trip through social media, chances are she will guess correctly.
Of course, this is your right, but the choice must be yours. To do this, think about what you want from this friendship. It is not useful for speaking on behalf of a group. And it never feels good to hear, “We all think…” But you have a personal connection with this friend, and you don’t know if that will be compromised by the group’s decision. Let that connection guide your actions.
Dear Eric: I own several cars and park them on the street in front of my house. Some toddlers and preschoolers are learning how to ride bikes. They are constantly patrolling in front of my house, not the one I rent next to my house.
Neighbors park on the street and do not use their driveways. They own several cars and live in a cul-de-sac.
They don’t observe or teach kids how to ride, and they don’t even make sure to stay off the road when cars pass by. But that’s another issue.
My question is, as a homeowner and county resident, do I have the right to ask my tenants to stay away from the area in front of my house or the cars parked in front of my house?
I’m worried that my kids will get hit by my car, but it’s actually a nuisance to see them in front of my house for hours on end. People think these are my children and I don’t see them.
clock: Depending on how much space there is on the street, I’m not sure if it’s reasonable to ask neighbors to keep their cars off the street or to keep their children off the street. If you have an HOA, there may be some guidance there, but generally the street is open to everyone.
If you notice that your children are behaving in a dangerous manner or that they are taking up more space than you have, you should alert them through a calm and polite conversation.
If I understand correctly, you have several cars on the street, and your neighbors also have several cars on the street, but you don’t want them to park on the street. If this is the case, I think it’s because they are the renter and you are the homeowner. I encourage you to let go of that belief.
In fact, many of your frustrations will be alleviated simply by talking to your neighbors. Is it true that other neighbors think these are your children? What’s the point if they don’t bother to talk to you?
With all due respect, your inconvenience is not your neighbor’s fault. In addition to asking for what you want, you can also listen when your neighbor answers what they want. Peaceful coexistence is the goal, but that won’t happen if one person decides what’s okay and what’s wrong in the neighborhood.
(Please send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Instagram Sign up for our weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com. )
2025 Tribune Content Agency LLC.
